Friday 9 March 2012

Chapter 4 - I should have kissed you . (part 2)

Then he pushed me against the wall. "I...I..." He stammered, not able to voice out what was on his mind. "I what Louis?" I asked, getting impatient. Then his eyes shifted from me to whatever/whoever that was outside the window. I sensed that somebody was approaching the house. It couldnt be the boys, they'd be running towards the hut instead of taking slow steps.

 Louis then looked at me then shouted in my face "I... I just wanted to tell you this is all a joke. Do you really think I will do this for a girl like you? Cheap and useless? Haha, dream on! A guy like me will never go for a girl like you. I prepared all this so I can hurt you all over again. Stop being so gullible and naive next time." He said, laughing.

  The person who was standing at the door then entered. To my horror, it was Alyssa. "Hey babe, i missed you. Why did you leave the house without telling me?" she squeaked. Seriously, I felt like slapping her in the face like how I slapped Louis. "hey love, I missed you too. Where were we?" Louis asked, suddenly oblivious to my presence. I was in the hut, hearing their conversation and witnessing the scene. I didn't know how he do it. I didn't have a clue how I managed to get fooled by him again. I just didn't know why I kept hoping for a miracle to happen. I just didn't know what he wanted from me. To humiliate me? He already did

 To make me heart-broken? Been there, done that. What else? "Where were we? This." Alyssa said and leaned towards Louis. I witnessed the same scene again, where their lips met for the second time. Louis had his hands wrapped around Alyssa's waist while her hand was placed on his chest. I wanted to run away from everything, I really did. But somehow I was rooted to the ground, not able to bring myself out of the hut. I wanted to watch the romance between them so I could get heartbroken all over again and eventually be numb.

 Louis' POv. If only she knew. If only she knew how much she meant to me, how much she's changed me for the better and how much it made me mad at myself for hurting her over and over again. If i had another chance, I wouldve told her how much I needed her in my life. Wipe her tears away and tell her everything would be okay. I shouldn't have let her walk away. I should've kissed her. I bet she wouldn't forgive me. If I were her I'd already murdered myself.

 But Sasha was different. Despite me hurting her alot of times, she was still there, standing strong. She deserves to be happy. She deserves someone that won't hurt her. If only she knew why I had to that. I saw Alyssa coming, and if I were to be caught kissing Sasha, my parents will ask me to leave One Direction and pursue business school in the US. I had to marry Alyssa, by hook or by crook. Alyssa always lied about what was going on between us to my parents. I still remembered the words Alyssa had echoed into my ear when she knew about me having feelings for Sasha. "you love Sasha, don't you Louis? But remember, we are meant to be. If you are ever seen having intimate contact with Sasha, that's the end of her.Oh, and you definitely do not want to leave One Direction, do you?" How could I not be scared ? She threatened to hurt Sasha . I know that I should've kissed Sasha, but I couldn't bear to see Alyssa harming Sasha. I'm a screwed up mess.The boys need to know what I'm going through. They need to. -end of POV-

 The boys entered the hut. Niall ushered me out of the hut while the boys shot Louis a look and walked away. Then I told them everything that happened in the hut on the way home. "Stop being silly Sasha. Just stop waiting for a miracle to happen. Louis won't come back in an instant. He's never been this way, but I just want you to stop hoping." Harry said, putting an arm around me. "I'm sorry Sasha. If only I hadnt invited Alyssa over, none of this wouldn't have happened." Harry continued, looking down. I shook my head and said "it's not your fault Harry. It's just part of riding the rollercoaster called life," while looking at Zayn, who wrote down those words in his quotebook . Then all of us leaned in for a group hug .

 All of us chattered cheerfully except for Liam . Liam's POV . When we got home, I went up and hid at the secret stairwell. Everybody knows that im with Andrea, but what they don't know is that the both of us aren't on good terms. We just pretend to be happy. I....I think that I still can't get over Dani. Ever since Sasha's arrival, I don't know why I've been thinking of Danielle. Alot. :s I know that I can't be this way but.... *bzz* ! whoops, text message. It's from Louis. What does he want? -Text conversation- Louis: Liam, you there? Keep reading buddy, don't ignore me. I can only trust you man. Meet me at the Starbucks at the corner of the street near the playground. I promise I won't be wasting your time. Please be there alone. Bring yourself and only you. I'll be waiting. I miss you man. And yes, I love you. Liam: yea, see how. If I turn up, it must be your lucky day. If I don't, you can keep waiting. I couldn't ignore Louis. The lad that kept annoying all of us with his random & hilarious quotes, that Swagmasta from Doncasta, that boy that never wants to grow Up, that boy that loves wearing stripes and toms, that boy that does the stop the traffic dance alot. I couldn't possibly ignore him. As I approached Starbucks, I prayed hard that the others wouldn't change their plans and have breakfast at Starbucks. I arrived and saw Louis, sipping on a cup of Yorkshire tea. Okay, calm down Liam. Play it cool. Don't show too much emotion. -end of POV-


 Louis' POV. I couldn't control my tears. Liam actually came with no one else. He came towards me and I quickly stood up and hugged him tightly and planted a kiss on his right cheek. Yeah, people in starbucks may think I'm gay. But I didn't care. I missed Liam and the other 3 crazy lads. Most importantly, I missed Sasha, alot. Liam didin't say anything, he didin't even look at me in the eyes and that really hurt me deeply. -conversation between Liam & Louis- Louis: Liam, buddy, look at me man. Liam: that's not important. You said that you wouldn't be wasting my time. So make it quick. You've got 5 minutes, starting now. Louis: why're you doing this to me Liam? You've never been this way. Liam: ask yourself. *glances watch* 4 minutes. Louis: I need more than just 4 minutes. it's not enough. Liam: stop beating around the bush and maybe 4 minutes will be enough . 3 minutes 40 seconds left. Louis: fine, whatever you say James. Have all of you ever asked why I suddenly behaved this way? Why the sudden change? No. Cause all of you have been too concerned with Sasha ever since she arrived in Mullingar. Stop trying to make a good impression on her for once, because she'll eventually end up with me. Now stop and listen to my story. Liam: This is not about us impressing Sasha. This is about you hurting her for her multiple times. None of us is trying to impress Sasha. We all know you have something for her. We know that Louis. But why the hell are you hurting that amazing young girl? Tell me. Tell me why Louis. Louis: Listen and tell this to the rest. Did you know my parents set me up with Alyssa? Did you know that Alyssa threatened to hurt Sasha if I ever ended up with her? Do you know that if my parents ever found out that I'm head over heels for Sasha, I'm forced to leave One Direction and pursue business school? Do you know that I'm forced to marry Alyssa in a couple of years? Do you know how hard it is for me to stop hurting Sasha? Do you know how frustrating it is to see you guys comforting her but I can't do that? Do you know how many times my heart broke seeing Sasha cry? Do you know everytime you give her a hug my world tears apart? Do you know how much I wish that I didn't have to go through all of this? Do you know that I can't do anything right now? Do you know how many times I've wanted to kill myself? Do you Liam? Liam: oh wow. I didn't know Louis, and I'm sorry. I'm sure things will get better, sooner or later. Stay strong Boobear. I'll see you soon. I was dumbfounded. No words could describe my feelings at that time. Sad ? Afraid ? I don't know. Then, I received an incoming phone call from Andrea.

 -phone convo between Andrea & Liam- Liam: h-hello ? Andrea: hey babe. Change of plans. We're having breakfast at nando's. Where are you? Liam: oh. okay, I'll meet you there. I just went for a walk near the rink. See you there. Andrea: oh..... Alright. Loveyou . Liam: yeah, you too. As I heaved a sigh, I walked through the snowy pathway with my hands in my pocket. When I arrived, I saw the lads faces lighting up. Then Nialler began eating his food, Zayn beatboxing to a fast-paced song and Harry laughing at the scene. Then, out of the blue, they stopped laughing and the atmosphere got silent. -end of POV-

 Sasha's POV. "what's wrong guys ? You were really happy just a moment ago ." I asked, even though I knew the answer to my own question . "what's wrong? Everything is . Remember our first dinner here ? We had a really great time and enjoyed each other's presence . But now, look. How many of us are here? Liam just arrived. Louis isn't here anymore. Why Sasha? Why is he hurting us in this manner? What have we done wrong? Were we mean to him? Did he hate us all this while? did he?" Harry replied with tears streaming down his face. I pat his soft curls and remained quiet, until Liam broke the silence. "I don't know whether or not you lads will believe this, cause I definitely don't know whether to believe it....I met up with Louis just now at Starbucks cause he texted me to meet him. Then, he said.."

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